Oh, what a joy. Let me tell you, termites are not only destructive creatures, they are also disgusting. They poop all over the place. And because they eat wood, is their poop sawdust? I don’t know. They also shed wings, which is actually worse. They apparently sleep all day and are active at night, attracted by any light. So don’t turn that lamp on or suffer the consequences.
As you read this, our house is having a giant tent put over it into which extremely poisonous gas is being pumped. After three days we are told it will be safe to return home. I hope. To prepare for the tent we had to remove anything we planned to put in our mouths. Either take those items out of the house or carefully double bag them with strong ties and keep them in the refrigerator. This tenting treatment is expensive, of course, but so too is renting a hotel room to stay in while they poison our house.
This is the first time we have had to tent since we have lived here full time. It probably won’t be the last as termites apparently enjoy the beach as much as we do. But I learned from the termite company that the little critters also venture inland too. Geiger, the company I hired, says they get calls from places like Pinellas Park and Lealman.
I often wondered what purpose termites serve. They must have some value beyond helping pest control companies make money. For example, I recently discovered that our bothersome little love bugs provide nutrition for the soil after they have mated and died. Who knew? So, I asked Google what good termites do. Here is what I learned. They clear fallen trees and branches in the forests, and they convert dead wood into their droppings, which provide incredibly natural fertilizer. Their constant digging and tunneling aerates the soil so that water and oxygen can penetrate. They are also a protein source for some birds, reptiles and even mammals like the aardvark.
We once had carpenter ants eat our wooden Adirondack patio chairs. I was going to look up what purpose they serve in nature but decided I had learned enough about destructive insects for a while.
Anyway, we will be back in our house soon and assuming we don’t die from the deadly poisonous gas that Geiger pumped into it, we can go back to worrying about other things. Like hurricanes. But that’s another story, isn’t it?
Chris Core is a former Washington, D.C. radio and television personality who now lives in Pass-a-Grille. He is a winner of the Edward R. Murrow Award for outstanding achievement in broadcast journalism.